(in the bath)

"Oh, no, Mommy! Here's some lint! OH NOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Here's what happened in the past few days:

I broke the car. Then it turned out it wasn't totally broken, but still needed some expensive maintenance anyway. So maybe it's good I broke it, so we brought it in for maintenance, and I won't have the timing belt go out on me at an inconvenient time, which would be pretty much anytime it might actually happen, right? Plus, I had to have it towed, which means I didn't have to bring it in myself to be fixed and try to keep control of Finn in a car dealership for a few hours, which I've done before, and am not anxious to repeat.

Finn and I got H1N1 vaccinations thanks to the generosity of the Eau Claire County Health Department. You can go ahead and take my Crunchy Mommy Membership Card away, I don't really care. I've already read all the conspiracy theories. I have asthma and I don't have time to go to the hospital with pneumonia, and I don't really want my kid sick either.

And finally, we sold our house today, yeah, that one in Michigan that we haven't lived in for a year and a half. It is someone else's adorable little house now, someone else's leaded glass built-in cabinets, someone else's rhubarb, someone else's weird little shower you can't quite stand up in if you're any taller than me, someone else's sidewalk to shovel and shovel and shovel if they want a place to put their car in the winter. We sold it, and we even got a little money back on it, nothing close to what we put into the down payment, but more than we thought we'd get, and we are FREE of that mortgage payment. I want to have a party. But we might not have time until January.

Here's what's happening in the next few days: We're going to Illinois for Thanksgiving! We'll be there all Thanksgiving week. There are some of you I would really like to see, but it is a busy week for all and I don't know what any of us will be able to manage. I'm kind of flubbing my way through things one day at a time right now, so maybe I'll get in touch with you when we're actually in state.

Here's the good news: I didn't mess up anything other than the battery itself, which now retains less electricity than a 12-volt battery.

Here's the bad news: It's apparently time for a $730 timing belt and a few hundred dollars worth of regular-maintenance fluids and filters. LOL.

I killed the car. I totally killed the car. Finn apparently turned some stuff on, like the dome light and maybe the headlights, and they were left on overnight, and the battery was dead, and I've never jumped a car before and I stupidly assumed the battery would match the cable diagram (in position and color) and I reversed the polarities and I KILLED THE CAR SO DEAD. Burning-electrical-smell-dead. I had to call a tow. At least I didn't kill the neighbor's car. He is nice and that would have been really embarrassing. This is quite embarrassing enough.

I'm really annoyed with myself. It's Tuesday, and it was supposed to be my "night out". (A friend opens up her house for "Project Night" most Tuesdays.) I thought about my plans a couple of times yesterday and today, but I totally blanked out when it came time to go out, and didn't remember until it was too late to go anywhere. Our routine was off - neither Hans or I felt all that well today, he took comp time off from work, and he was sleeping when it was time to make dinner and get out of the house, so I didn't bother cooking and just threw a couple frozen pizzas in the oven later on.

I forgot last week too, but Hans reminded me in time. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I've been tired, I've been spaced out. I can keep track of what day it is in the mornings, to get Finn to his weekly scheduled activities, but after they're over it's like I have no idea what is going on. I was SHOCKED to hear today that we're leaving town for Thanksgiving on Sunday. (Isn't there an extra week in the calendar somewhere?) I have no explanation (except for some occasional trouble sleeping, if you'll notice my timestamp). Tuesday night out is important for my well-being and for Finn to get accustomed to going to bed with Daddy instead of me sometimes. Plus, I feel really rude that I just didn't show up, although it is not a formal thing and a guest count isn't critical.

I'm just really disappointed. In myself. Isn't that the worst kind?

Today was a really good day. Hans got up early, not long after Finn and me, so that we could spend the whole morning cleaning and organizing while still keeping Finn more or less entertained. Without everyone's full attention, he acted up a lot and there were some power struggles, but we got so much desperately needed work done, it was worth it.

In the afternoon our friend Dan came over and I made a turkey dinner, because one of the local supermarkets had a deal: Buy four $5 frozen pizzas, get a free turkey. So that was about $40 worth of food for $20. Dinner was great, and we played games, and Finn was so worn out he went to bed early for a change.

He's calling for me now, though, so I have to cut this short. Just had to say what a good day it was.

It's been a week of ups and downs. I've been generally emo and cranky; there's been  mild illness in the house; and a lot of general tiredness and mayhem and destruction. But in the category of Very Good Things:

I made it to Project Night on Tuesday (my night out) and met some really nice people.
Finn and I saw a fox in the woods after playgroup on Wednesday.
We've lucked into some truly beautiful weather this week (in the fifties, which is good enough for me). I took Finn to the park twice yesterday. The second time, we came across the Blugold marching band at practice time and watched awhile. Finn loved it and began imitating the directors, waving his arms up and down. Cracked up the flag girls... and me.
We have a tentative closing date on our house of next Friday, but DO NOT CONGRATULATE ME until the deed is done.
I stashed away some birthday cash in August, in case we needed it later, but today I stumbled upon the work of Tamar Mogendorff on a blog somewhere and suddenly could not live without a Tamar Mogendorff birdhouse. I scoured the web for places that might sell her work, and impulsively bought one of the few pieces I could find:






I haven't invested much in decorating our place (the "it's just a rental" syndrome), but I really want to start buying art that I love for the home we will eventually make.

We had our Downtown trick-or-treating yesterday afternoon, so Finn is working through his loot. Although his sweets are pretty limited most of the time, we decided it wouldn't warp him to let him go hog-wild once a year, so he has pretty liberal access to his Halloween candy. That works out better than you'd think, because he just takes one taste of a lot of things and moves on to the next. Smarties and suckers are his favorites (there are currently nine lollipops in various stages of consumption on a paper plate in the kitchen) and he's surprisingly dismissive of some of the classic treats like Snickers.

There is neighborhood trick-or-treating today, but frankly I think there's already enough sugar running through his veins, he had the Halloween experience, and we're done!

Let's see how honest FB friends are...Leave a ONE WORD comment that you think describes me. It can only be one word. No more. Then copy and paste this on your wall so that I may leave a word about you. This should be interesting*

I didn't comment on this person's FB entry because the first word that came to mind was "nuts"

And no, if you are reading this, it wasn't you.




*Note: I am not soliciting comments myself.

He was all excited about being lost in the corn maze. "I'm lost! I'm lost!" Then we got REALLY lost and he got cranky and wanted to be carried out. By Mommy. Not Daddy. And in Mommy's arms, NOT ON MOMMY'S SHOULDERS! WAAAHHHH!

Well, my parents are here and it's shaping up to be a fun-filled afternoon of Finn asking both of them repeatedly whether they have a penis.

The weather is terrible (gray, cold, damp) and maybe that's what's making me cranky, or maybe it's that Hans is gone to a conference, or maybe it's that I skipped my mom's night out this week. I think I'll take an exciting outing to Target.

To do:
Go to homecoming parade
Go to park
Bake cookies with Finn
Devour leftover Thai food
kiss husband a lot
grocery store
laundry
clean bathrooms
declutter
make dinner

It's been a good day!

I was finally starting to feel sort of emotionally normal after the July miscarriage but I am having another one now. I guess it would be more accurate to call it a chemical pregnancy, because I got my period only two days after the positive test and it wasn't really even late. I would be better off if they didn't make such sensitive pregnancy tests, I guess, so I'd have to wait longer before testing. 

This certainly doesn't compare with my July experience, physically or emotionally. It's depressing, that's all.

This one is several weeks old, but it's my favorite one right now.

Today's valuable life lesson:

You CAN put too many onions/onion skins in homemade chicken stock.

That stuff is just weird. I don't even think I'm going to keep it.

It's snowing today. All my tomato plants are frozen, with green tomatoes on them, grrr. Gone are the basil and the chives and the mint. I saved the tarragon and the thyme, which I use least frequently. I think I also lost a Swedish ivy which I had been nursing back to health outdoors after I ignored it shockingly for a few months.

Finn is psyched for the snow, though. He's enjoying throwing snowballs up in the air, watching them smash and yelling, "It broke!" I restrained myself (barely, but probably wisely) from teaching him about snowball fights. But there's a picture of one in a book he's got, so he's bound to catch on soon enough.

Yesterday we went out to an orchard and bought a pumpkin. As soon as we got home, Finn declared, "Let's make it!" I asked him if he wanted a happy pumpkin or a scary pumpkin and he chose scary. (In the end, it was kind of happy-scary.) We also roasted the pumpkin seeds, with some help from our friend Pete who was visiting. (Okay, actually  he did the whole thing.) They were so good! They are all gone now.

( Pictures behind the cut! )

Finn is really into being told stories right now. He likes stories about Little Hansi, Little Baby Susan, and our most recent addition, Baby Bunny (who lives in a hole in the backyard and likes to come out and sniff flowers and find carrots and jazz like that.) So last night he's asking Hans for a Little Hansi story, asking me for a Baby Bunny story, and then he goes, "Tell a story of a scary bunny!" We're like, a scary bunny? And he busts out in this weird raspy voice: "ONCE UPON A TIME! THERE WAS A SCARY BUNNY! AND HE LIVED... IN KEE-KA-KEE!"

I have to wonder if this has anything to do with the Killer Rabbit Hans presented to Finn the other night. You think?

When I was in Illinois, I drove through downtown Chicago to get to the Children's Museum, where I was meeting friends. (That was its own whole blog-worthy adventure). And while I was driving through, I had these powerful waves of memory, of the feeling of being young and single and walking through the streets of the Loop (or Edgewater or Wicker Park or Chinatown or Lakeview or....) with plenty of time and maybe even some money in my pocket. The feeling of having the transportation system down pat. The feeling of really knowing the place where I lived, and feeling utterly comfortable there - a feeling I have had nowhere but Chicago, and yet I could never quite settle down there. I missed it a lot, for those few minutes. I know I will probably never live there again. I wonder if I will ever have that feeling anywhere else - like I own the place. Maybe that's a feeling you only get in your twenties anyway.<input ... ></input><input ... >

Since everybody else seems to be putting in their 2 cents on this, I will too.

Roman Polanski is a child rapist and should be IN JAIL. I have no sympathy for him. None.

I don't even want to know what Hollywood idiots are signing his petition, because then I would not be able to watch any of their movies for the next ten or twenty years without being sick. 

Just so you know, all you people on my Flist, I may have been kind of quiet lately, but I am still reading all of your posts.

I am making a resolution that I'm going to get better at commenting. Starting... now. You should be hearing more from me in the coming days.


Finn's illness and attendant fussiness has shed light on the interesting discovery that the one toddler behavior that I CANNOT STAND is the beg-for-item-then-screamily-refuse-it maneuver. OMG. Must not bite face off sick two-year-old.

Hans really needs to head back to WI tomorrow. He has missed too much work already. I'm faced with the delightful conundrum: travel with sick kid, endure possibly miserable car trip but get home with hubby, or delay with Finn until Sunday, buying two days of recovery time and support from two infinitely patient grandparents, when said grandparents will bring us back?  (car trip may still be miserable but chances for peace are slightly higher). Really it's out of the way and inconvenient for them, but they're willing to do it.

I DON'T KNOW.